Smelly cat

Walking through a crowded bar in PB is quite the experience. One medium-size room, American top 40 music radiating in your knee caps(5 points), sticky/slippery floors covered in $10 watered down "AMF's" or Long Island Ice Teas (because that's all anybody in PB knows how to order), and hundreds of sweaty drunk skanks make up the atmosphere we all know and love. Real quick here lets list all the bars in PB/MB that are EXACTLY the same: Beachcomber, Sandbar, Moondogies, PB Shore club, Ale House, Tavern, and PB bar and grill. I'm sure i'm missing several, but you get the point; they are all the same atmosphere. The worst part about all of these places on a busy weekend night is the smell.

A few nights ago I was walking past a group of size 14 girls wearing size 8 mini skirts and I caught a whiff of not only their vodka-stained breath and BO, but something else much worse. VICTORIA SECRET LOVESPELL!!! Ladies you all should be familiar with this one. You know that one that comes in a medium sized round PLASTIC purple bottle? If you are old enough to go to a bar you probably should not be wearing Victoria Secret's Lovespell body spray. It's not a perfume it's a cheap-ass body spray that smells like 7th grade.

While dancing at the Tavern last Thursday, I kept bumping into this guy who... well actually he was falling into me but that's a whole other rant you don't want to hear right now. As much as I wanted to passively step on his feet and give him a dirty look I just kept dancing and pretending that nothing happened.  Then i smelled it. FIERCE by Abercrombie & Fitch. Do grown up girls really go for that? If you are male and went to Centennial high school between the years of 2002-2009 you probably wore that cologne. In fact most of those people in that category probably still wear that cologne. KNOCK IT OFF! You are a grown man! How are you going to go out in PB, get drunk, meet girls, and  validate your heterosexuality by wearing Abercrombie's Fierce. No way, not now not never (4points)

The following scents are absolutely foul and inappropriate for adults to wear:
-Adidas... ANYTHING by Adidas
-Jake by Hollister
-Curious by Britney Spears (it should be called Circus (2 points))
-AXE.... words can not describe my hatred
-Any fragrance promoted by a professional athlete

well i guess i couldnt think of very  many but you get my point. In conclusion let it be known that I rather smell your sweaty BO than the latest scent of Mariah Carey.